The Cusp of Modern Day Dating

Needless to say, chivalry is NOT dead. 

With technology and dating trends gravitating towards mobile apps and large followings on social media, many may think chivalry is dead and that modern dating is sprouted from swiping left or right. Social media has become a platform where you curate content based off of what you want to get the best reactions with. Whether it be nice comments, a lot of likes, or even a DM, social media has become a “likability” contest.

Dating… We all want to feel loved, love someone hard, but we’re scared of being hurt, betrayed, or even lost.

Depending on who you choose to spend your time with, this person will either be a memory, lesson, or a staple of your life.

When it comes to enjoying an amazing relationship with your significant other, qualities of that person cannot be found in how many followers they have or how many likes they get on Insta. Relationships are built upon how the both of you treat each other, handle conflict and most importantly – trust.  

Trust /trəst/

noun

1.) firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

It takes time and serious discipline to fully trust your partner but more importantly, it also takes time for your partner to trust you. 

I am writing this segment because I have learned so much about myself while dating. My current boyfriend Victor, has been so good to me and all I can say is I am very thankful to have him in my life. Although this is the best relationship I have ever been in, was it a smooth ride? Definitely not.

Me being stubborn at times always got me in trouble but that’s the beauty of relationships, helps you realize that your sh*t does stink at times.

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To those of you who truly believe ALL guys are or ALL girls are (negative connotation).

Trust me when I say this, if you had a failed relationship for whatever reason, that judgement should not be transferred to the next. Why? All people are different but I will say this..

You either learn from your previous relationships or you don’t. For those of you who truly believe that whoever came and then left your life was a learning lesson, keep thinking like that. If you see yourself cycling with roller-coaster relationships, maybe you aren’t ready to date yet.

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Chivalry,  a term mostly for men being good to women in courteous ways BUT– if you are in a relationship, it’s important to treat each other chivalrously.

I’ve seen multiple girls in person and online complain that chivalry is dead–but my take is maybe the guys you choose to spend your time with are not compatible with you. What do I mean? Many people use dating apps such as Tindr, Bumble, etc. to find someone of interest to start a courtship with. The only problem with this method is that there’s a pool of people who are on these apps for various reasons that could be outside of what you are looking for. If you see yourself hopelessly cycling through multiple relationships with people you met on these apps, take a step back and realize that what you are looking for cannot be found by judging ones profile on these apps.

Dating someone is not easy and these apps are not making things easier..

Dating requires mental and physical stamina.

  • You’ll need to know when to be more selfless or more selfish.
  • You need to understand what your significant other likes or dislikes.
  • You need to take in consideration that some things you say might hurt your significant other.
  • You need to learn how to allocate your time differently now that you have someone in your life.
  • You need to be ready for the comfortable phase when both of you start farting on each other.
  • + so much more.

Finding someone who is as interesting as you are is worth the wait. Don’t rush things

 

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